Surrendering the pain of being human…

Wanderlust Whistler 2015

This weekend occurring, has been a culmination of a process of letting go and letting god for me.

Its tough to articulate the specifics of energy movement as it is in transit, but I feel as though I am surrendering stuff that is YEARS old.

I really love what one of the facilitators said yesterday about giving ourselves permission to feel good as well as experience the pain we might feel.  I know for myself, I’m great at acknowledging when things feel tough, but perhaps haven’t been so great at acknowledging when things feel amazing.

As I was driving off the ferry onto the Mainland on Friday, I noticed a build up of energy in my being which translated as burping and a general oddness in my body.  When I surrendered to it and gave myself permission to let it pass, what transcended was total bliss & joy at being in the moment of the adventure I had embarked on.  I cried in joy at the appreciation of myself for taking that step into the void, into the unknown.

This weekend has been just that.  I have felt so extremely proud of myself for being this little fish in the ocean, for stepping out into unknown, for travelling to Whistler, Canada on my own.  I have been greeted by like minded souls & embrace in love and the magic of how life is.  Being here, I see how I have been in some sort of bubble of discomfort.  Self created.

This morning I was drawn to a Kundalini Yoga class.  This is a practice I guess I choose to do sporadically as I know and feel only to well how it has the powerful ability to stir my energy, and as an extension – my life up.  I always trust that I am guided to what I need in each moment, and this moment was no different.

We were guided through a series of breathing and movement exercises to arrive at one of surrendering all of our worries, fears and cares to the divine.  I could feel stuff building to release, but little did I know what I was paving the way for.

By the end of our surrendering exercise, my tears and snot were flowing everywhere.  I was crying for everyone and everything.  I was crying for the pain of being human.  Right now I feel I am still in this, and am feeling a little tender, and so have retreated to our home space for some quiet R & R.

So I sit here right now, in gentle reflection of what I am rebirthing and remembering.

Till next time…