Heidi Firth “Money doesn’t grow on trees.”
“You’ve got to work hard for money.”
“You’ve got to E A R N a living.”
“You need a ‘real job’ to make money.”
Do any of these sound familiar?
They certainly have been a part of my story.
We inherit our mo ney stories. In words. In actions. In our DNA. We are the by products of how our ancestors were. If they struggled in life, then often we do too. And if we don’t, then chances are, we’re just subconsciously running from those inner beliefs on the hamster wheel of life.
I’d heard it all, and also experienced it all.
I live from the smelly of an oily rag Mum says.
I’ve lived week by week. In Bali I even lived day to day.
I’ve had well paying work and have done really well for myself.
I’ve dissected mo ney, abundance, wealth, prosperity internally to it’s nth degree, and there is STILL more.
We ALL have a money story.
We each have our own unique relationship with it. And always will.
This year feels different, something has shifted for me. I am SO done with fear, lack, scarcity in all the ways. It’s exhausting. If you know, you know.
I realised and saw clearly this year, how I have been keeping myself small, closing my outer energies down for fear of ‘not having enough’, more not coming in.
My ability to ‘work’ physically hasn’t been abundant over the past year. Last year felt like a time of rest and also laying a foundation. It was slow, quiet and at one with the nature, as we are.
Why am I now sharing this? To be honest, I’ve been really embarrassed about my fin ancial situation. I’m smart, got my head on right. Got some amazing tools & skills in the bag. I’ve been on and off a benefit since those days the world changed. It felt like my chance to rest, to heal a chronic fatigue that wasn’t diagnosed. I’d come out of a very long cycle of DEEP emotional purging that had zero mental explanation as to why. I know why, but that’s a story for another time.
I cried ancient tears, released ridiculous amounts of pain & trauma from this human vessel.
The healing has continued on and on, healing deep inner Father/Masculine wounds. Healing wounds of enoughness & ‘being an inconvenience’ which my inner child decided she was, due to an emotionally unavailable ‘adult’ man who drank & smoked w e ed daily & abused her innocence. Those wounds are deep. They take DEEP acknowledgment, and healing to return the light back home.
Why do you think the world is the way that it is right now?!
We are all adults carrying our inner wounded child, seeking to get our deepest needs met. We need to turn the mirror inwards.
That time for me was very healing, and I’m so sorry to those who didn’t experience the same. Although the greater universal plan is currently unfolding and we are just at the beginning of ‘why’.
And so since then, my life has taken me down a path that has felt so different to what everyone else has been doing. I’ve done nothing but trust my inner voice alongside follow my deepest inner knowing. I’ve been living this way for a handful of years now.
Following the feels. Listening to my guidance.
I moved to the Tasman. I was DONE with J.O.B.S, working for others. I wanted to work for myself and support myself. I guess I did, as I’m still here, but not in the way I wanted it to flow.
I addressed ancient vows of poverty that apparently I took in past lives. I’ve worked with amazing people, addressing subconscious beliefs & upgrading my system. I’ve sat in ‘not knowing’ and needed to learn to get real comfortable with it. Friends would say, ‘you need to go get a job’, sharing their stories. If you know me, you know that I can put my mind to anything and create it. I’ve done it my whole life. #manifestorhumandesign
Except these last chapters of life, have seen me invite not only mental strength, but build my emotional & spiritual strength. I’m a fuck ing warrior. haha And I’m a pussy cat too.
This talk about the New Earth, living 5D… It ain’t a destination, it’s within. It’s truly listening to your deepest inner knowing, alongside the Earth and moving with her. Not of our own agenda, not separate, but together. It’s the way forward.
Anyways, I went on a tangent.
I wrote all that to say, that I’ve decided I deserve it all now. I’ve decided it’s my time. No more small. No more not allowing the fruits of life to reward and support me.
So I will flow with what I’m guided to create, birth, move forward with, moment by moment. I can’t even say what they are right now, as right now, I’m right here, writing these words. And that’s beautiful. I am free.
Anyways, if you’ve made it this far, thanks for coming along with me on this expression of myself. I’m sure I have so much more to share. I used to write and share more, but that died in 2017/18. My intention is to return. To share more, the stories within, my experiences, whatever feels right.
Where I wanted to go with this writing, but got side tracked was mention a wee side opportunity I’ve joined. It ties in with the whole, ‘it’s time’ declaration.
I had to overcome a hurdle in my mind, that I have to do everything on my own. That I’m the one that needs to ‘earn’ mo ney. That’s a bit restrictive. In fact, that’s a lot restrictive. So I’m doing this thing. It’s easy. It feels light. My feels say yes. And so, I jumped in after some weeks of inner shifting.
If you want passive income in your life > pop your favorite emoji’s below & I’ll send you a message.
Also if you’re curious about what ‘work’ I do, come join my group or page where I share more there. I work with Mental, Emotional, Physical & Spiritual Health. Basically if you’re confused, stuck, in a funk, need clarity, don’t know what you are, I’m your co-pilot.
Thanks so much for reading and allowing me to share the beginning/outer edge of what has been a glimpse into my past years/decades.
Lets GO!
