Life took a drastic turn

So days ago, in fact the day after I wrote my previous blog, my life took a drastic turn.

I have been spending extended time in a Silent Retreat, on the magical island of Bali.  It’s been a little over 8 months so far, hence my previous blog post.  (You can read that blog here.)

Upon returning from Australia, I was met with changes in my exchange at the retreat, to which I decided to step up into.  I imagined that there was a higher purpose for me being here, you know, to create something of my own contribution towards this retreat space and the hundreds of courageous souls who visit.

The next day, a whirlwind happened and I was let go!  A mass of incorrect communications took place.  Different perceptions of the same words, catapulted into miscommunication which resulted in this action.  It was wild, it was crazy, there may have been some angry words said, all necessary in the transition of this lesson.

But the strange thing is, I am not upset about it.  It feels right and I am in total acceptance that this was what had to happen.  And so now I sit in a space much like the butterfly does, as she allows her wings to dry before taking flight into a new adventure.

Mostly I feel excited and optimistic, though occasionally I feel nervous.

I want so much to step into an exciting opportunity that nurtures my soul to the highest extent.  I just want to get going, but equally flit with days of simply just needing rest and feeling exhausted.  What a ride this is.

Today feels more optimistic.  After a chat with a friend, I’m being reminded of processes akin to nature.  These support me to accept what is and to not work against my own unfolding.

Se are human beings and we have an ego.  The ego likes to know what is happening.  I know mine does.

– Where am I going?
– What do I want to do?
– How will I have money?
– Do I put my energies into Be Your Own Guru?

All these questions and more are humming along in the background that I am acknowledging.

Still I wish to act from love.  I wish to take action as & when it feels right.  Acting from fear only gets in the way, and prevents what really needs to drop in to arrive and be heard.

I explored websites my friend shared, and worked on my primary values – to help manifest & gain clarity of my next step.  These are the only steps available right now.  This, and to honor how much my body needs rest.  I nap each afternoon & am moving very gently.

One can only work with what is available & be in the dance of co-creation.  Good things take time & everything has a natural rhythm.

– BYOG