It’s kinda tough to illustrate 1 year in just a few words or images, but this month, it’s been 1 year that I’ve been back on home soil. I can’t quite believe it. 1 year ago I landed all bright eyed and optimistic of what was to come being back in the West and in …
home
relish the fuck out of it
Since moving into my new digs, I am beginning to feel a special kind of calm, a peace, a super deep appreciation for all things in my world.
Sure, I’m witnessing my ego jump ahead 6 months and want to be somewhere it’s not, *rascally ego*, but I’m in a great position to just observe it, rein it in, and give thanks for exactly where I am. And there is no place that I’d rather be right now.
I spent the last 6 months, wanting to be exactly where I am, that I’m going to enjoy it! I’m going to dance in it, relish it and enjoy the fuck out of it, AND I’m also already planting the seeds now for the future creation to come into fruition for the next 6 months! This is the way life goes.
If we kept focusing on the future we would not appreciate our now, and therefore not appreciate life. This is it. Right here, right now as Fatboy Slim would chant.
I feel like I’m reflecting on some deep thoughts, taking stock and preparing for an epic period to come. Ways of being have been unraveled, and re-configured. It’s like an upgrade has occurred and is integrating. How life used to be done, cannot be done that way, that ship has sailed. It’s like your latest version of Windows (clearly I’m still a PC user), operating on an old computer – there’s no way it could – everything constantly needs an upgrade, not just technology – us also.
I sit in such a space of contentment right now, I find myself sighing happy blissful sighs. Sighs of just being here. Nowhere else. Not desiring anything to be different, but merely having so much appreciation for everything that is. A very new space to be in, as we have been so programmed to be happy when we have xyz, when all our ducks are in a row.
Sure I could still say, I want xyz, and if I speak in Abraham speak – xyz already exists, it is in my vortex and is already making its’ way to me. I simply need to stay aligned to it, removing any resistance to it & it will arrive at a time that is not up to me. Knowing this, feeling into my essence gives me a sense of peace that is constantly available to me, that is, until I forget again. Which I’m sure I will.
So for me right now – it’s a dance between sighing happy moment sighs, and aligning to what I am drawing into my physical reality and not focusing on what has not yet showed up, which is what we humans often tend to do, focus on the not having. I know this has been my modus operandum for some time. Wondering why I have been well equipt with everything I could possibility need, yet having a mentality of lack, re-playing that record over and over again. I’m done with that programming. Did you hear me. Done. Finished. Fineto!
Yes, so after this eclipse, this full moon, this menstrual cycle I will have purged, cleansed and released all that is so done in my world. I am making my way to the end of this very amazing cycle. I have this theory about life in Bali. That every Visa cycle represents particular lessons, and that when you leave Bali for a new Visa, holiday or whatever reason you leave Bali for, you return with a whole NEW beginning and a blank canvas right in front of you for the duration of that Visa. Yes – it is an exciting time indeed.
Molly, Me & a place to call home
It’s now been 6 nights and about 2 hours since I moved into my new home, and let me tell you – life feels so very different on the other side.
The last time I was able to unpack my bags without an agenda to move anywhere would have been Victoria, Canada. I don’t include the Silent Retreat as that was Ashram style living and frankly – who wants to consider living there long term?
I’ve landed safely with both feet, as my new home includes everything. I have a bathroom – hot & cold water, a kitchen – including gas cooker AND fridge, a bed, a garden AND a pool! Jackpot!
These might seem like very simple things to give appreciation for, but when you’ve been bed & house hopping for the past year, it changes one’s perspective A LOT!
For the last 5 mornings I’ve cooked breakfast at home. The satisfaction that this small little task offers is in-explainable. Having to pop out to cafes to eat first thing in the morning can feel relentless after a while. Don’t get me wrong – the food and coffee here are wonderful and I am so very grateful to have had the abundance to do this. But this chicken is ready for a rest and to focus my energy constructively elsewhere. Not on where I’m going to eat today. Big shift.
At the same time, a little rescue Bali Dog affectionately named Molly has shown up in my life. She’s a little doll of a puppy, if a puppy can be called that? She’s a special little being that has been brought back from the brink of near extinction and has won our hearts. So for now she is living with me. A house and a dog in one week, a partner on his way.
Yup life. It feels possible again. Today when asked how I’m doing, my reply – good. Full stop. No stories, no explorations or reflections. Just good. Great in fact.
With the world in upheaval the way it is, to feel good is GREAT!
My inner world is where it’s at. It is all there is. From my inner world I am creating my external. Amazing things are beginning to make their way to me at a rapid rate. I am merely preparing to receive them right now. I’m resting when I need to & enjoying this massive clearing rain Bali has been receiving for FOUR days straight now. FOUR DAYS OF RAIN!
So this little blog is just a little ditty of gratitude. No massive reflections, no deep diving. A reminder that simplicity and gratitude for such is where I’m at. I couldn’t be happier in this moment, well I can think of one – but that’s for between my ears only 😉
In love, gratitude & amazing health
love heidi
