Love & Marriage, do they really go together like a horse & carriage?
I don’t know, but what I do know is, I’ve recently had a perspective shift around this whole marriage thing.
Growing up with a single Mum who never married until semi recently, I never got the whole marriage thing.
I didn’t understand why people had this deep desire to be married with the house & while picket fence.
I’ve never dreamt of ‘the day’, the dress, the bridesmaids…
I’ve dreamt of adventuring the world, making life up as I go, not being bound to anyone thing or place, able to pack up and move as I choose. To have FREEDOM.
Sure I’ve wanted to meet someone with the same life dreams as me. To explore, to travel, to laugh, to love, to live a rich & meaningful existence and make a difference on this planet, but weddings & marriage…. Pfffftttt
BUT, recently, something has shifted in me, and maybe I’m a bit slow, maybe everyone knew this key ingredient before I did?
I’ve learnt that, when you meet someone, that really freakin special someone who you just adore, a person who you feel such a strong connection and knowing about them that you’ve never felt before. A person who shakes your world and you know you’re never going to quite be the same, someone who you just want to give the world to. You want to give them YOU, because you know that’s the deepest gift you can give someone, then, this whole marriage thing, begins to make a little more sense.
See I had this idea that marriage was something you DID. I’ve heard the stories, “Oh we’d been together long enough, it was time”, “It is for the kids really”, “It was the right thing to do”. So how is that appealing?!!
But what I’m learning/feeling, that maybe it was originally born from truly meeting a love, and wanting to sacredly gift yourself to them, a symbol of honoring the being that they are, and that you are choosing to come together to create the wonder of life TOGETHER. Maybe the materialism of it today has taken away its deepest meaning?
I was asked the about weddings the other day by a friends, she said, What would you want?
Pfffftt & blank face, I think was my response.
She laughed and suggested, “barefoot on a beach”.
I laughed back, and said, “Pretty much!”
So, whilst my sights aren’t set on a wedding, in sacred ritualistic gift to the one that I love, I would give my heart in ceremony to declare that I would love, care & support him until such a time where our souls contract says its time to part.
Might not be as ‘romantic’ as the TV shows & magazines, but its real and for me, a grand step in opening to this greater existence called life.
(I might add, that after my Pfffftt/blank face, I did also say – I’d have to talk with him and see what he would want. I believe your ceremony should be co-creative).